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I don’t want to be here

I don’t want to be anywhere anymore.

These past two days have been hell. I’m endlessly crying and it’s just like nobody believes me anymore. My grandma calls me lazy and doesn’t believe if be able to wake up early and take responsibility for things, my moms calls me dumb/stupid for selling things on ebay and she’s just made that she isn’t getting money from MY things. I told her to stay out of it. My dad hates when I cry and then makes it worse then he feels bad an then my emotions just go haywire. Like I’m so done. All I wanted to do was get this fucking garage sale set up and help my family make money which they need but it’s like everything I do I’m the fuck up. I’m disappointing everyone and I’m done trying to keep myself happy and others happy at the same time.

And my suicidal thoughts have been coming back and I’m so mad at myself. I was doing so well and happy and I let myself slip and fall in a black hole again.

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